Advice to a couple in the crisis of infidelity:

To the spouse who had the affair:

First and foremost, sever all contact with the third party immediately.  Clear boundaries need to be established if you want to rebuild the trust you have broken with your partner.

You must be willing to answer any questions from your spouse.  This is not because your partner needs to know all the details of what went on, but they ed to that have your willingness to give them the details.  It shows respect, honor and equality and that you can be trusted in the future.

To the spouse who has remained faithful:

You should only ask questions if you really want the truth.  Some things may be better left alone if you are able to do so.  You also must steer clear of the temptation to use any information you receive as a way to ‘beat up’ your partner for other problems down the road.

Remember, it may take years to absorb the emotional impact of what has happened.  Adultery is not something you can get over quickly.  It’s important to give yourself plenty of time to recover.