There is something to be said about ‘feeling bad’ – sometimes feeling ‘bad’ is really a very good thing – it’s called EMPATHY!
I am amazed at the number of people who work so hard at not feeling ‘bad’… they blame everyone else for their problems and misery, they avoid facing the necessary consequences for their poor actions or decisions, and they make other people bend to their wishes – all so they don’t feel bad about themselves.
Habakkuk 2:2 Says “write the vision and make it plain”
Research has shown that something as simple as having a list of goals in your possession dramatically increases your chances of reaching them! Imagine that. Making a written list of goals and keeping that list in your possession makes you far more likely to achieve your goals.
We are not talking about a daily ‘to do’ list here, we are talking about taking the time to solidify and pin point specific goals, long-term goals and write them down.
To the spouse who had the affair:
First and foremost, sever all contact with the third party immediately. Clear boundaries need to be established if you want to rebuild the trust you have broken with your partner.
You must be willing to answer any questions from your spouse. This is not because your partner needs to know all the details of what went on, but they ed to that have your willingness to give them the details. It shows respect, honor and equality and that you can be trusted in the future.
To the spouse who has remained faithful:
Sadly, far too many people have bought the lie, “if he/she doesn’t make me happy I should go find someone else who does”.
While we certainly hope that your spouse does not chronically made you ‘sad’, the truth of the matter is that it is not your spouse’s job to ‘make you happy’.
If your joy, peace and happiness is related to how people treat or don’t treat you; what they say or don’t say; or what they do or don’t do; then you will NEVER be happily married no matter who you are married to.
The ‘old’ song from John Cougar Melancamp came into my head this morning. “Life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone.”
I started thinking about this and how that reminded me of too many married (or formerly married) people we know. The song could say: “marriage goes on long after the thrill of marriage is gone”.
Folks like any habit, it takes work to remove it from your life. But to be truly free you must get rid of your sinful habits. And when you get the victory over your bad habit or habits DON’T GO BACK!